McCovey
01-22-2009, 01:07 AM
I came across this on some guy's blog. Hillarious! :pound:
Friday, May 18, 2007
Random Hatred # 1: Ralph Barbieri (http://myfreakinrandomhatreds.blogspot.com/2007/05/random-hatred-1-ralp-barbieri.html)
Who?
A local Bay Area, California sports radio pundit who, in more enlightened times, would be crucified or at least disemboweled before an approving public. He is also known, without any apparent sense of irony, as "The Razor". For those outside these latitudes, he can be found at:
http://www.knbr.com/razorMrT/index.html
Why?
The self-proclaimed Razor combines the voice of an American Squirrel Nutkin with the certitude of a sports-obsessed Bill O'Reilly. Though his politics might be liberal (this is the Bay Area) he shares with the baleful O'Reilly a love of demagoguery and the sound of his own voice. Never more so than when he's spoutin' all highfalutin' and such. Yes, the Ralphster truly pops his size 5 (US) clogs when he gets to combine his views on Northern California's latest sporting disaster with a fresh cull from the depths of Webster's dictionary. He gets a bit excited when he finds a new word, that's for sure. A lonely night in front of the thesaurus can only explain his unbridled passion for "specious" (adj. superficially plausible but actually wrong) which he unleashed on a unsuspecting public 15 times in a three minute rant against then fellow-KNBR broadcaster Rick Barry circa 2003. Rick had, not unreasonably, questioned Ralph's ability to comment on anything sports-related because A.) he is an idiot and B.) he didn't play pro, unlike the Rickmeister, who can't go a sentence without reminding you of his basketball exploits on the court. Where is Rick now anyways?
Other black marks against the poison dwarf Barbieri include having his sperm injected into an unsuspecting donated ovum, which produced an intvitro son and heir. Yes, Ralph couldn't do the normal thing vis-a-vis the opposite sex: ie make compromises, have a relationship, maybe even fall in love. No. He had to genetically engineer his own frightening offsping, no doubt some hideous chimera that fuses an encyclopeadic knowledge of obscure sporting trivia with gnome-like facial features and a life-long craving for Amici's pizza (which he shills every five minutes on his drive-time show).
Friday, May 18, 2007
Random Hatred # 1: Ralph Barbieri (http://myfreakinrandomhatreds.blogspot.com/2007/05/random-hatred-1-ralp-barbieri.html)
Who?
A local Bay Area, California sports radio pundit who, in more enlightened times, would be crucified or at least disemboweled before an approving public. He is also known, without any apparent sense of irony, as "The Razor". For those outside these latitudes, he can be found at:
http://www.knbr.com/razorMrT/index.html
Why?
The self-proclaimed Razor combines the voice of an American Squirrel Nutkin with the certitude of a sports-obsessed Bill O'Reilly. Though his politics might be liberal (this is the Bay Area) he shares with the baleful O'Reilly a love of demagoguery and the sound of his own voice. Never more so than when he's spoutin' all highfalutin' and such. Yes, the Ralphster truly pops his size 5 (US) clogs when he gets to combine his views on Northern California's latest sporting disaster with a fresh cull from the depths of Webster's dictionary. He gets a bit excited when he finds a new word, that's for sure. A lonely night in front of the thesaurus can only explain his unbridled passion for "specious" (adj. superficially plausible but actually wrong) which he unleashed on a unsuspecting public 15 times in a three minute rant against then fellow-KNBR broadcaster Rick Barry circa 2003. Rick had, not unreasonably, questioned Ralph's ability to comment on anything sports-related because A.) he is an idiot and B.) he didn't play pro, unlike the Rickmeister, who can't go a sentence without reminding you of his basketball exploits on the court. Where is Rick now anyways?
Other black marks against the poison dwarf Barbieri include having his sperm injected into an unsuspecting donated ovum, which produced an intvitro son and heir. Yes, Ralph couldn't do the normal thing vis-a-vis the opposite sex: ie make compromises, have a relationship, maybe even fall in love. No. He had to genetically engineer his own frightening offsping, no doubt some hideous chimera that fuses an encyclopeadic knowledge of obscure sporting trivia with gnome-like facial features and a life-long craving for Amici's pizza (which he shills every five minutes on his drive-time show).